Give Me A Window

It's cold. The tips of my fingers are numb. This feeling always brings me back to the window above my bed. I open the window with haste, I can't sleep and I'm longing for a gust of cold night air to collide with my skin. I quickly take a deep breath, inhaling the innocence of the night for the fleeting moment when the stale air of my room is replaced with something that is far more real to me. I am never sure of what it changes or how but I know that it's there and I'm always waiting for it, always hoping that it finds me. I close my eyes and let the silence craddle my thoughts as the wind flirtatiously dances with my hair. My mind clears, the thoughts and dreams that were torturing me have finally faded and I can hear that song now. I start to sing as the window becomes less and less stationary. Piece by piece I am slowly drifting away from this place, perpetually searching for warmth in a world consumed by this chill that I constantly feel. It's been years now and its getting harder and harder to find it, if I ever attained it at all. With every passing winter my window raises higher and higher but the ground is much closer to me than ever before. That ground scares me more than anything and I'm barely escaping it these days. I've always known that one day I will eventually fall and when I do, I'll hit hard. Though, that fear will never be enough to prevent me from opening my window. There is something much stronger inside of me that gives me the courage to search and to find the opportunity to fall. I can only hope that when I do the ground is only a few feet below and that theres someone there to catch me. So here I am, eyes closed and cold always waiting for something or someone to embrace me with their warmth, to catch me when I fall, to walk beside me on that ground. Reality finally sets in and I close the window, but the goose bumps on my arm don't ever seem to go away...