The World In Which We Exist

I wanted to post something but didn't really feel like writing-I wrote this a while ago...

I often wonder what the world would be like if everyone had complete confidence in themselves. Picture a world without insecurity or without doubt. A world in which everyone was always 100% sure of themselves and their actions. It's hard for me to decide whether this would be a good thing or a bad thing. I can see a world full of accomplishments and peace, where things get done in a timely and orderly fashion, a world where relationships last and families stick together. However, at the same time, I see a world in which the wrong kind of people don't second guess themselves or their actions. It would basically be a world that had good and evil split directly down the middle, completely black and white, and it gets rid of that middle ground, that in-between, that area of gray.

I like hanging out in the gray area. I am neither good nor evil. I am human, I make mistakes and I can appreciate the fact that I have doubts and insecurities because it means I am constantly changing, constantly growing and constantly questioning who I am as an individual. I am morosely introspective and I've always worried about people that completely reject self examination. How could you be completely content with yourself, at any given point during your existence here? Take yourself out of it even and look around you, the world is constantly changing, it never stops, not for you and not for anyone else. So how is it possible to not change with each minute that passes each and every day that you exist in this place that is constantly in motion?

The unfortunate answer is this-People simply ignore the changes, they ignore the world around them and how it affects their life and what's even worse is the fact that they ignore the influence and the affect that they have on that world, on their environment and on the people that are a part of their lives. What's even scarier is that no matter the degree of separation, we are all somehow connected to one another and we affect one another constantly.

Too many people live in their own little world, a world that they selfishly exist in, alone and without any regard to anyone or anything else. There doesn't have to be a black and white, we can all exist in the gray area together, we just have to realize that nobody is perfect and we can all share that common ground, just be considerate of the people next to you, the people that touch you and the people you touch.

Philosophy for today:

Be resolute. Faulty execution does less harm than a lack of resolution. Materials turn bad more often in repose than in motion. There are people who can't make up their minds and need a push from others. At times this is caused not by perplexity, for they see clearly enough, but by inactivity. It may be ingenious to identify difficulties, but it is more so to find a way of eluding them. Other people are bogged down by nothing and have great powers of judgment and resolution. They were born for lofty pursuits and their clear understanding lets them succeed with ease. No sooner done than said, and there is still time left over. Sure of their luck, they venture forth with even greater confidence.

The Rain and the Wind

I can't sleep. It's windy and raining outside and I've just been lying here watching the shadows of the trees dance across the walls. As I sit here I start to think about life and death. I began to touch upon something I've secretly believed ever since I was a young teenager. Its been since then that I've felt like I had no real direction, no real purpose or motivation, and overall trouble with deciding what I wanted to make out of my life...It was also then that the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I wasn't meant to live a long life, maybe I wasn't suppose to know because I didn't really have to know...When I think about that now it seems like the easy way out, tragic, but easy; like I was searching for an answer and that was the only solid thing I could come up with at that time. Those thoughts usually came to me when I was sitting in the back seat of a car staring silently out the window. When we were driving in the rain I would stare at the rain drops jaggedly gliding down the glass. I would try and predict the direction of each drop based on the other drops it slid into. I was trying to control their path, their destiny...trying to control something that I was physically close to, only separated by a thin and transparent piece of reality. When I think about that now I think about how each single drop relates to a single person and each single person is jaggedly gliding down their own piece of reality, constantly bumping into someone else which alters their path slightly and therefore their final destination and with each interaction they take a piece of that drop with them, some of them joining completely and gliding the rest of the way down together. When I was younger I didn't yet have that sense of being helpless, that loss of control and I never even considered the direction and harshness of the wind on the side of the glass...