Through the trees

"It doesn't matter which way you go, it all leads to the same shit." K

I was on a drive through the woods this past Saturday with K and W and it was amazing, as usual. We drove slowly through the trees, listening to music as beams of sunlight peeked in on us, spreading warmth and happy thoughts. We were in K's neck of the woods and so she was directing me as I drove and the above quote was her reply to my question-which way should I go next? She was joking and started to laugh about what she had just said but I had to stop her because I recognized a certain melancholic tone. K really cracks me up but I'm suspicious that she tries to cover up how she truly feels with jokes, so I like to call her out on it every now and then, I care about her and shes my friend so I have the right, right? Anyways I couldn't help but dissect her statement and it made me think and I of course shared my thoughts with the group cause well-that's what we do. We share. Not just thoughts or feelings, its literally how we survive in this society. We have an odd little communism going on, I love it. Anyways...

So what if the destination always remains the same for you as an individual or for us as humans. Its how you get there that makes it different and therefore you different, we give to and take from our experiences. And I'm not just speaking generally because you could say that death is the ultimate destination and we're all headed there but I'm realizing that it's not the destination that's important, its the journey. Yes, we're all gonna die and yes, it all leads to the same place, but I think you have control over how you get there and at which pace you want to go. Right now-I honestly feel like I have little to 0 control over what is going on in my life but at the same time I recognize how I got here and accept total responsibility. Which means, in a sense, a few steps from now I will look back and see the bit of path I've walked and recognize that I've made those steps and those decisions and then look ahead and feel totally lost; but at least I can look back and recognize it as my own and as hard as that can be sometimes, its also what makes me different.