Feeling

I'm feeling down today, for several reasons. All of those reasons can be overwhelming so a lot of the time I just smoke or drink my troubles away but every once in a while, on a dry day, I'll have to deal with them. That-is the truth. It reads worse than it actually is but I'm not in the mood to fluff shit up for people today. Maybe it reads exactly the way it should be read. Maybe it means exactly that-I'm a drug addict and an alcoholic and people should stay away from me. Right? This is how I'm feeling today. Unwanted and falling way short of what is considered good enough.

People seem to be so concerned with obtaining some sort of status here, based on other people's standards, I just don't see the point in it anymore. Does it really have any true value or meaning at all? I'm not unaware of the fact that I'll eventually get sucked in one way or another. I'm sure it will feel somewhat close to escaping prison, feeling the sweet breeze of freedom on your cheek, and then going back and turning yourself in.

Adulthood-is a bitch, freedom seems to come at the price of imprisonment, it just puts on a different mask when the clock strikes 18. I'm running from it right now, from it all, catch me if you can...