And Isn't It Ironic

It's interesting. What you'll do to hold onto someone that you love. My twin and my parents got into another one of those huge fights. You know, the type of fight where she says that shes leaving and never coming back and they say good, see ya! Well, this time she really was leaving, got a train ticket to Las Vegas( very typical of her), had her bags packed, and was going to be leaving tonight at 8pm. I went to school this morning but I wasn't really there, I was wherever she was. It hurt me more than I ever expected, the thought of not having her in my life the way that she is now. A few years ago and maybe even a few months ago I would have bought her the train ticket and drove her to the train station. But I don't know, something changed...and it wasn't her, it was me. I never realized how much control I had over my relationship with her, how much it was up to me to make that effort. For once in my entire life I stopped lecturing her, stopped trying to help her and just accepted who she was. Shes completely crazy and a complete wreck most of the time, but that's who she is and I love her. Anyway, a few hours ago some words came out of my mouth that I never in a million years thought I would say. I said, don't move to Las Vegas, give me until May and then we will move out together...I think I might be able to claim some sort of temporary insanity here. But even now, the thought of not having her in my life, makes me upset. If anything, she brings laughter into my life and always reminds me that I don't have to be so serious all the time. Besides, I can't watch over her if shes hundreds of miles away...

I would say for about 20.5 years of my life I couldn't wait for that day to come, the day that I would move out and wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. And now, I just went and sentenced myself with a few more years...oh the irony of it all. This summer should be...interesting...