I haven't been able to sleep lately...I can't find peace of mind for some reason. I'm exaughsted as it is and not sleeping at night is driving me insane.
What bothers me the most is that I can't figure out why, at least I don't know all of the reasons. I'm sure a part of it is the fact that I'm very stressed out. However, I can't help but feel like there is something else there...I've felt very haunted lately, almost like I didn't deal with something that I was suppose to. I lay down to go to sleep and I can just feel my heart racing and I instantly feel restless. I can't calm myself down enough for my body to relax.
I feel like I don't have complete control over my emotions and I hate that. I want to sleep, I love to sleep, but my mind and my feelings are getting in the way and they are winning.
I fear that I'm not going to be able to rest until I gain some sort of insight into what exactly it is that is bothering me. I need clarity in my life, I can't handle it when things become cloudy, its extremely scary for me. Especially when it has to do with my own feelings. I can't go back to that dark place, a place where I am constantly confused about myself. I'm going to figure this out and deal with it.
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