Cast Me Away

Now that I have time to relax I am slowly slipping back into my normal routine of reading, watching movies and day dreaming. Over the years I've realized that I thoroughly enjoy many forms of escapism. I've always wondered if this was because of a true love and passion for almost all forms of art or if it is only a gateway for me to escape the harsh realities of the world in which we live. Perhaps it is a combination of the two or perhaps art is a form of escapism that can only be taken advantage of by the people who truly appreciate it and understand its purpose. Whether it be reading something someone has written or examining a painting someone has painted or watching a movie someone has filmed, I can fall so in love with these things to the point at which I am consumed by them. For however brief a moment I am somewhere else, lost in someone else's mind and heart.

A lot of the time this scares me, how lost I can be and how much I enjoy the escape. It's almost as if I have to force myself to stick with reality a lot of the time. I constantly have to pull myself out of my own day dreams or the day dreams, ideas, and thoughts of others. For most of my life I've always preferred walking through a painting, living the adventures of fictional characters in the books that I read and relating my life to people in the movies that I watch than actually living my own life. I suppose its a much more comfortable position to be in, that of the dreamer as opposed to that of the doer. I need to become a doer.

I hope to discover a way to balance the part of my personality that is the dreamer and the much smaller part of me that is the doer. I'm very capable of accomplishing things and I almost always succeed at anything that I try. However, its too easy for me to escape life and I'm constantly looking for a way out. It's almost as if I get bored with my life or bored with the way things are in general in this world. I always have to add excitement and beauty to it, when really, its not all that dull, theres just not witches, wizards, and dragons flying around.