June

When I look back and reflect on this month I see weekend after weekend of just partying. I have literally gone to a party every weekend of this month, sometimes two-three days in a row. I'm just waiting for this to get old, so far, it hasn't. To continue this streak I'm going to Ocean City tomorrow night with some friends for the weekend. Two days of sex, drugs, and you would think rock n' roll, but this generation has replaced that with hip-hop...unfortunately

It's supposed to storm all weekend, which gives us idle time to "play"

I enjoy doing things which have no purpose or meaning right now. I like being simple, kind of like the ID in psychology, primitive instincts have taken over.

I'm starting at the lowest level and shall work my way back up until I reach a point where I recognize myself as whole again. For now, I like waking up, drinking my coffee, working, exercising, eating, drinking, smoking, making out, fucking, sleeping and having nothing attached to any of it. I have nothing invested, no feelings, no emotions, if anything, I have dependency on my jobs, and who doesn't.

I'm in control of myself. There's no sub-being that has any affect or control over what I do or the decisions that I make.

Am I rebellious?

Yes.

I'm just confused as to who I am rebelling, perhaps myself.